At a party. Or a bar. You see this person across the room. You are dying to meet them. You would love to go out with them. You would love to know that they feel the same way about you as you feel about them.
So, what do you do? You wait. You wait for that person to approach you. You wait for them to interest you enough to approach you. You think to yourself: “I hope they don’t look fat or sloppy.”
Why didn’t they come up to you? Well, maybe they are a good-looking person, or maybe they were dressed to kill. But what if they are both looking pretty? What if they don’t look slim, or they don’t smell good? What if they turn out to be the opposite of everything you expected?
In other words, the odds are pretty good that nobody in this room right now will be good enough to attract you. Not even close. So do yourself a favor. Forget about this person right now. Why? Because you can meet somebody anywhere. A grocery store, a bank, a place of worship, your school, your office. There are plenty of opportunities throughout your entire life to meet somebody who is out to interest you, to make you happy, to make you a better person.
Do yourself a favor right now, and forget that person. There’s nobody we want. We want somebody who will sweep us off of our feet. Somebody who will not only complement us, but empower us, and ignite our deepest desires. Someone who will literally walk our course.
Don’t forget who we are talking about. You are meant to attract the flower of your desires, not the thorns of rejection and disappointment. Keep your eyes open, and your heart out, and don’t even think about it. Keep it in your mind that these people we attract are the very source of happiness and fulfillment, and that you will one day want to be part of that flow.
We attract positive people. If you hold tight to the so-called “breaker” virtues, perhaps you will attract a whiner, a complainer, or a moody person, whom you will not be able to get together with comfortably. These people will grip you and pull you down. For a relationship to be healthy, very much open, honest communication is a necessity.
Otherwise, you are introducing people who scorpion for your privacy, explode with jealousy, rage, and to your less-desired, more subtle desires. These are the people you have attracted to rather than the ones that you despised. You despise them, but you keep attracting them.
You need to recognize your own self-worth. If you do, you will learn how to value yourself. Over the weekend, as you have been efficiently hanging out with others, I have watched you make new friends. You have been quite persuasive, I must say. You have not just learned how to get along well with others, but how to let down your guard with others. This skill is a wonderful opportunity.
Why? Because the more you stay in control of your own life – your own needs, your own time, your own privacy – the more you attract and nourish your own passions. If you do not nourish your passions, none of the relationships you are likely to enter into will nourish them. The more you stay in control of your life, the more freedom you have to create the relationships the life you want.
Get yourself back in the game. Go out where the action is. Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups, anything that might cast you in the eye of many. Meet people. Try new things. Those of your age might want to venture into older personals, but there are also those of your age that are very much into going out to coffee and spending time in an art gallery. Keep your eyes open. Think about what your instincts tell you about people. Get out there and try new things!