When we’re introverts, finding a partner is often the opposite of what we like most. We’d rather watch another Netflix mystery series in fleece-lined sweatpants than be with someone we love. You have to put yourself out there if you want to find a partners-in-crime.
It may not be worth it to waste a night in for a Tinder date that talks all night long about investment banking and doesn’t ask you one question. Even so, there are some tips and tricks you can use to make the experience of going out just a little less intimidating.
What Introverts Need To Know About Relationships
Having said that, dating an introvert can be troublesome, largely because they are indifferent to small talk or do not know how to use it. Introverts struggle with coming up with interesting conversation topics and often find themselves confined to one corner in large gatherings – that is, if they ever attend any.
What is the best way to date an introvert? When considering dating, everyone feels awkward and shy – introverts or not. Therefore, do introverts have difficulty finding love and dating? The answer is no. Dating can be difficult for introverts, but the tips below can help:
- If you’re an introvert, that’s fine – you shouldn’t hide it. In fact, introverts are often seen as more understanding and sympathetic than extroverts. The difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that they do not engage in flirting much. Since you are seen as more sincere, more reliable, and more trustworthy – so you should never hide your true nature from others.
- Being yourself is more important than competing with others: Introverts sometimes feel overwhelmed by attention extroverts receive. In one room, a party comes to life as everyone gets to know each other while an introvert hides out in a secluded corner. This is just your personality, and you should not try to compete against someone so unlike yourself. You don’t have to pretend – just be yourself, and the right person will notice you
- You might get clumsy with an introvert in a large group or huge crowd: Set the date appropriately. You will be able to put your best foot forward if you choose a secluded seating area when planning a date. When you start dating as an introvert, place your first date carefully, as it sets the tone for a strong relationship to come
- If you are an introvert, you might have difficulty asking a girl out right away. Therefore, you may want to try online dating. You should make your profile as truthful as possible and don’t hesitate to mention that you enjoy coffee, earphones, and your own company most of the time!
- Small talk should not be avoided: It is a way to bridge the gap between you and another person and proceed to deeper conversation. However, why can’t the world have intense conversations right now?”you may ask. It helps people get acquainted with each other through polite small talk before moving into more serious conversations. Do not be afraid to make some small talk, no matter how annoying it may seem to you
Whether you’re an introvert at heart or not,
Here are more dating tips for you:
1. Let go of your perfectionism.
On a first date, you should expect an awkward silence or two and a few jokes that fail. Honestly, I guess you’d have to be a narcissist or sociopath not to feel self-conscious or uncomfortable. On first dates, you should feel uncomfortable, bumbly, and slightly anxious. Accept it as part of the experience!
2. Know what type of date piques your chatty side.
If the date does not fit your vibe, it’s probably best to know what you’re doing ahead of time. You may also choose to do an activity together instead of sitting at a lonely bar trying to make conversation with someone. Be sure it feels comfortable to you, whatever it is.
3. Prepare discussion topics in advance.
You can learn a bit about the person ahead of time and have topics that will not lead to a dead end.”
It is likely that you checked out their Instagram anyway if you found them on an app. We’re sure those surfing photos from seven weeks ago can make fantastic first-date questions!
4. Discover if you really do have social anxiety, not just introversion.
An introvert isn’t necessarily shy or awkward – it’s a personality trait and preference. Getting involved with any new person that you don’t know is terrifying to you, even if it involves all the things you hardcore stan the most, you might not simply be introverted.
A counsellor may be able to help you find out where the fears of meeting new people come from if you think you have a lot of fears clustering together.”
5. Don’t be stressed out by the apps.
It can be exhausting for introverts to keep swiping but never want to actually go on a date when stuck on a dating app loop. The more pressure you are under, the harder it will be for you to stick with an online app.
Is there a way to meet people without apps? In addition, you can check out people at a party or join a club, which will also push you out of your comfort zone (but hey, at least you’ll know if you’d get along with them right away). There is also network diving. It’s easy to talk to them because they are already vetted, known entities, plus you have commonalities to talk about.” In any case, being a homebody doesn’t guarantee apps will be the most approachable way to date.
6. Make compromises with your partner from time to time.
It seems like you’ve found someone you really like, but they want to go out a bit more often than you do. What are your options? According to Dr. Hendriksen, sometimes it’s worth channeling your inner extrovert. Although we may not enjoy psyching ourselves up to be active, it’s definitely worth it if a person or a cause means a lot to us.”
Dr. Whitbourne adds that one major difference between being alone at a party and going alone is that, if your partner is comfortable with you, they will also be there. “You may find it more enjoyable than you expected.”